My Big Mistake

By Carol Horner

 

On a recent visit, my husband’s college friend updated us on the latest of his ongoing successful career as an urban planner.  I was always intrigued by his profession.  It brings to mind the fun I’ve had with those computer games where you can build and plan your own community with playgrounds, schools and businesses – kind of like making your own make-believe world. 

 

I asked him what he enjoyed about his work.  He began to describe his office and the people he worked with.  He told us about his schedule and the proximity of his office to his home complete with the big-city commute.  Without my prompting, he went into an insightful body of advice on how important it is to determine what kind of environment you wish to work in before you make a final decision on your occupation.  He asked: do you want to work in a corporate setting complete with hierarchies and procedures? Do you want to be in a small office setting where people are relaxed and operate with little structure?  Do you want to travel, meeting new people every day? 

 

His reflection reminded me of how important it is to define this for yourself as you identify what you want to do for a living.   It also reminded me of how I made my own serious mistake in this arena.

 

When I was studying journalism in college, I loved my classroom and field work.  I interned at a radio station.  I enjoyed writing personality profiles and feature articles for magazines.  My communications law professor was brilliant and made me appreciate the complexities of my field.  My classmates were an eclectic mix of curious and talented writers.  Then as I screeched into the final weeks of my senior year without a job, I began to panic about what I was going to do with my four-year investment not to mention my parent’s tuition funding.  I realized that as much as I loved my academic work, I did not want to live the life of a journalist.

 

My journalist friend, whom I recently shared this story with, laughed out loud when he heard me reflect on this time in my life.  He knows, as a journalist, how important it is to be able to exist in an environment of chaos.  And he knows this is so not me which is probably why he laughed extra hard.  Any journalism major knows that you have to be in a constant search for the story, the facts, and never rest until you get it.  I was not motivated for this sort of thing.   I was certainly doomed for failure as a hard journalist at that time in my life.  It would be much later that I would discover an interest, once again, in writing.

 

Well, I found my way and settled into a job that was just right for my personality and talents.  But I was lucky.   I somehow figured out just in time that I had to identify my environmental preferences before taking that first job.  This realization at a critical point in my decision-making process was fortunate.  I think that the panic brought about some clarity in my thinking.  I was finally honest with myself about what I wanted. 

 

In my case, I had always identified with my father’s occupational environment – the big corporation.  I felt at home with the way of life, the schedule, the structure, even the politics.  I had to be creative at this point knowing that I was going into the world with a journalism degree and marketing myself to the big corporate machine.   I had to convince the powers that I was suited for their needs.  This was not difficult - probably because they recognized what I discovered on my own.